"What I mean is that each one of you says, 'I belong to Paul,' or 'I belong to Apollos,' or 'I belong to Cephas,' or 'I belong to Christ.' Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?" 1 Corinthians 1:12-13
Going to church here in MD has not been as easy or delightful an endeavor here in MD as it was in GA. I went to a church picnic yesterday, and, while folks were somewhat friendly, I really only had conversations with a few. There were many people who only glanced at me, said hi, and kept walking...didn't even introduce themselves. I even walked up to a few people to introduce myself, which is a stretch for me. Conversations that I did have were short as well. I didn't expect much attention, far from it...but I didn't feel very welcomed. This morning at church was worse, which is odd since I'd just met most everyone there the day before. I once again, both days, got to stand there awkwardly by myself.
I'm somewhat used to this in church, and I know that my connection to the community is partly on my shoulders, and I'm making a stronger effort here than I have in the past. I'm struggling, however, because it's nowhere near as welcoming and loving as the church family I had in GA - and this congregation is better than most in the area, I think. I really miss my church in GA and it makes Sundays very difficult. I miss those folks and their genuine love for God and each other. I guess I'm also seeing how I need to welcome folks into the church (and in my home, and in general) more openly, as well, rather than being shy as I usually am. To be proactive and conversational in loving them, which is, again, not in my comfort zone but so necessary.
And so when I'm sitting in church, missing my GA church, I keep butting up against the chapters in 1 Corinthians about divisions in the church. I know that Christ is not divided and He works mightily, no matter which church I'm in, for wherever two or three are gathered in His name.... I know that He can love me and speak to me no matter which church I'm in. But is it wrong to feel so much more part of one church than another? I don't rightly know. Maybe it's something I have to get used to as I potentially keep moving all over the place. Maybe it's something I move back to Savannah for, to be in that church, to be in that "milk and honey place" as a friend put it. I don't really know....I just know I need to joyfully plant in this church and be open to meeting Christ and His people there.
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2 comments:
oh love, that's frustrating. not cool. :( prayers are with you. i wish i could come give you a nice biiiig hug. and i hear tell you were playing spades with ryan and janine just the other day? (i assume that was ryan's sister janine not j9...)
Yeah, we got to play spades before Ryan & Janine (sister, not j9) departed for your coast. And eat pizza & wings (which is now nearly implied with the word "spades). And have much fun :-). Not the same without you there, of course, but we'll have that west coast spades game some time in the future. I hope you're thoroughly enjoying Europe and I'm sure I'll listen all about it when you come back!
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