Every year the first frost heralds the oncoming winter. The frost is late this year, and sudden after a very warm fall. Before today, many of the trees still retained their green leaves. As I look out at the woods and the mountain now, though, the foliage is decidedly yellow-orange and beginning to fall.
The first frost has always been a bit of a special event in our back yard. Twenty yards from our kitchen windows towers a male mulberry tree. He's tall and old, and his trunk is nearly 3 1/2 feet across. His branches are gnarled and arthritic, the lower branches overshadowed, dying, and occassionally snapping. The leaves are waxy and heavy - not as much as magnolia leaves, but far heavier than your average maple or elm.
The mulberry holds and hoards its leaves as long as it can, no matter how yellow they are. It clutches them tightly until the first frost, when it lets go and the leaves rain to the ground. Last night it had all of its leaves. As I looked out the window this morning, only half were left. Over the next hour, it lost another quarter. If it frosts again tomorrow, the mulberry will be left bare, its gnarled and naked fingers stretched out towards the sky while at its feet lies a thick carpet of leaves. Usually that carpet is a glorious yellow; our golden retriever used to stand out there and bark and bark as those yellow leaves fell all around him. This year fall has come late and caught the green leaves by surprise. Our backyard is now under a blanket of bright, bright green.
Maybe it seems silly to describe one tree's loss of leaves, but in our house, it's almost a tradition to wait for and watch the raining mulberry. I don't draw any allegories or life lessons from it; I just watch and enjoy. You would too if you could see it.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Philadelphia freedom...shine a light
Goin' home tomorrow! The apartment's all cleaned up, work's almost all cleaned up. It's actually hard to believe I'm done here, but it has been 5 1/2 months - longer than a spring semester of college.
Anyway, I'll be back to Philly to dive into grad school applications head first since I'm getting a late start. Oh yeah, change of plans - applying for Bio PhD's. May be a little frenetic or hard to get a hold of for the next few weeks because of that but hey, at least my phone will work there. Pray for God's will to be done in the whole grad school thing, too. As always, it's all up to Him. I'm stoked though, and it's exciting to be thinking like a scientist again. Speaking of science: 1111 turtles. No, I'm not kidding. Named up through Abijah (I think; I forgot to write down exactly which name I ended on; rather, I threw out the paper with all the names on it while cleaning) 1 Chron 29.
Anyway, I'll be back to Philly to dive into grad school applications head first since I'm getting a late start. Oh yeah, change of plans - applying for Bio PhD's. May be a little frenetic or hard to get a hold of for the next few weeks because of that but hey, at least my phone will work there. Pray for God's will to be done in the whole grad school thing, too. As always, it's all up to Him. I'm stoked though, and it's exciting to be thinking like a scientist again. Speaking of science: 1111 turtles. No, I'm not kidding. Named up through Abijah (I think; I forgot to write down exactly which name I ended on; rather, I threw out the paper with all the names on it while cleaning) 1 Chron 29.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Countdown
I'm now 2 weeks away from leaving MD, and I'm extremely excited. It still seems unreal, possibly because I'll be counting turtles up until the end; but I'm glad that it's here. I'm excited to see my friends & family in Philly again. I'm excited to be working towards grad school and I'm looking forward to having a community that I can engage in and that I can settle in for more than 5 months. I'm looking forward to living with people again - I've never been good at living with people, but living alone has shown me how much I really do need to share a home with others. I'm sad to leave my few friends that I have here...but that's still a couple weeks away, I don't have to deal with that yet. It would've been nice to have been more involved in the community here. Hopefully when I'm in school and when I'm a teacher I'll be able to do so. Oh yeah, and I'm looking forward to hugs. Other than when my parents visited me, I think the last one I got was...July 29th? And visiting with y'all & catching up, at least those in the Philly area.
Other than that, not much is going on. This month-and-a-half long drought has prevented the turtles from hatching (the ground is too hard for them to dig out), so work has been boring. Other than that day a few weeks ago with the camera (previous post). There's tons of bald eagles all over the island now though, which is kinda cool. And caterpillars (a type of "woolybear", the salt marsh caterpillar, Estigmene acrea). And mutated crickets from the mosquito spray. All interesting to see, although I fritter most of my day away sitting on the toolchest in the shed inventing things to do (1.5 hrs of work to be done every day. On the island for 3-12 hrs. Hence lots of frittering).
Anyway, 'tis all, 'tis all. Philly soon! Oh, wonderful!
Other than that, not much is going on. This month-and-a-half long drought has prevented the turtles from hatching (the ground is too hard for them to dig out), so work has been boring. Other than that day a few weeks ago with the camera (previous post). There's tons of bald eagles all over the island now though, which is kinda cool. And caterpillars (a type of "woolybear", the salt marsh caterpillar, Estigmene acrea). And mutated crickets from the mosquito spray. All interesting to see, although I fritter most of my day away sitting on the toolchest in the shed inventing things to do (1.5 hrs of work to be done every day. On the island for 3-12 hrs. Hence lots of frittering).
Anyway, 'tis all, 'tis all. Philly soon! Oh, wonderful!
Friday, October 5, 2007
fun times part 2
You can access the awesome video I made of the cute little turtles by searching for "La Naissance, la mer, et la liberte" on YouTube.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
fun times
I had fun at work today. For the first time since I slid down that cliff a month and a half ago. Woohoo!
Can't tell you why though, you'll just have to wait a week or so to see. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Can't tell you why though, you'll just have to wait a week or so to see. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha...
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Sar Shalom
Ps. 34:14
Depart from evil and do good;
seek peace, and pursue it.
This is a stark contrast from the meek and mild "Oh, I've just got to be patient and maybe one day peace will fall into my lap if God decides to give it to me." Yes, peace is a gift. But we are meant to seek it, to pursue it, not just wait for it with a gnashing of teeth until it gets there.
Pursue: "radaph" - to run after
Seek: "baqash" - to search out, to strive after, to request. specifically used in worship or prayer.
How? Doesn't it seem like an oxymoron to fervently look for and run after peace?
Yes, if by peace you mean sheer comfort.
No, if you consider that Jesus is Sar Shalom*, Prince of Peace. "Sar" implies rulership and governance, from a verb that means to have dominion. Jesus isn't just the sub-ruler (like we think of "prince"), nor is He just excessively anti-confrontational ("the best at peace"). Peace is His to bestow, and it's His to control.
Peace isn't found in things being calmed or solved or made clear - it's found the Prince. And found more abundantly if we run towards Him, rather than away from Him, if we seek to spend time with Him rather than figuring out our lives and making ourselves secure, rather than sitting and waiting and twiddling our thumbs for peace and letting anxiety build and fester inside. Peace isn't denying that things are out of (our) control, nor is it succumbing to the 'whelming flood. Any peace that you get without coming to the Prince won't last, really.
^Above were things God showed me one night when I was being anxious over career stuff and whether or not teaching was really right. And you know what? It's great that I have so many options, but no single one is "right". Which career I choose is not crucial, so long as I glorify God in what I do. And I feel that teaching is one arena where I can definitely do that while growing in Him as well. And that peace...was found when I stopped worrying and let Sar Shalom take care of it.
*my Hebrew grammar is probably poor and these words may be in the wrong order.
Depart from evil and do good;
seek peace, and pursue it.
This is a stark contrast from the meek and mild "Oh, I've just got to be patient and maybe one day peace will fall into my lap if God decides to give it to me." Yes, peace is a gift. But we are meant to seek it, to pursue it, not just wait for it with a gnashing of teeth until it gets there.
Pursue: "radaph" - to run after
Seek: "baqash" - to search out, to strive after, to request. specifically used in worship or prayer.
How? Doesn't it seem like an oxymoron to fervently look for and run after peace?
Yes, if by peace you mean sheer comfort.
No, if you consider that Jesus is Sar Shalom*, Prince of Peace. "Sar" implies rulership and governance, from a verb that means to have dominion. Jesus isn't just the sub-ruler (like we think of "prince"), nor is He just excessively anti-confrontational ("the best at peace"). Peace is His to bestow, and it's His to control.
Peace isn't found in things being calmed or solved or made clear - it's found the Prince. And found more abundantly if we run towards Him, rather than away from Him, if we seek to spend time with Him rather than figuring out our lives and making ourselves secure, rather than sitting and waiting and twiddling our thumbs for peace and letting anxiety build and fester inside. Peace isn't denying that things are out of (our) control, nor is it succumbing to the 'whelming flood. Any peace that you get without coming to the Prince won't last, really.
^Above were things God showed me one night when I was being anxious over career stuff and whether or not teaching was really right. And you know what? It's great that I have so many options, but no single one is "right". Which career I choose is not crucial, so long as I glorify God in what I do. And I feel that teaching is one arena where I can definitely do that while growing in Him as well. And that peace...was found when I stopped worrying and let Sar Shalom take care of it.
*my Hebrew grammar is probably poor and these words may be in the wrong order.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
postmodern to a t
I've been thinking a lot lately about dreams and aspirations - namely, why would God give me/allow me to have unattainable dreams for what I want to do with my life? And I've been wrestling with that, partly because of trying to figure out if it's something I should try hard to achieve despite difficulty or if it's something to let go of and let God fill the space with something else.
Inadvertently or semi-consciously, though, I've been looking for the answer to this question to determine the nature of God - is He cruel and vindictive, and am I doomed to crushed dreams for the rest of my life? Clearly we know the answer is "no". But postmodern me can say "no" in my head and "but what I see is..." in my heart.
You see, I'm ridiculously postmodern, particularly about this one area of my life. I formulate my idea of God based on my experiences of Him. I treat my life like an inductive Bible study, reading between the lines and searching for meanings and chiasms and themes and a picture of God that I can apply to my life. This is so faulty, though. The Bible is God-breathed and true; my life as I perceive it is an interpretation. My version of my life and someone else's version of it would be very different. Trying to interpret my life, therefore, is double the interpretation, 2 degrees away from truth. It's not that God can't be met and known from His general revelation in our lives. But we can't base our image of Him on life alone.
Which brings us to the trite but true conclusion that to know God, we've gotta read the Bible. Why? Because it's the truth about who God is, untainted by our own perceptions. And no, it rarely lines up with our perceptions of who He is. I'm very good at reading a passage about God's goodness when I'm hurting and seeking comfort and instead of taking the solace He gives there, I go "yeah, but what about how I feel now?" So postmodern!
But whether I like it or not...how I perceive God doesn't change who He is. God is God. God is who He says in the Bible, whether I fully believe it or not. And there's a disjunction between what I see and who He is that is difficult to overcome. The best comparison in human terms is when you're away from someone for a long time and they change, be it a little or drastically, for better or for worse, and when you finally see them again you either can't see the new, better person they are or you miss who they were before they changed to be someone you don't like.
So I guess where that puts me is...really, what I'm feeling about what God's doing (or permitting, or not doing, or whatever the case may be) in my life doesn't change who He is. And despite the sharp contrast I've got to keep digging into the true Text and finding God there to check my self-generated image of Him.
You sweep away what we treasure
Our salute to you tumbles out:
Lord, sovereign, governor, king
political images of us before, gender specific,
marked by macho.
Sometimes we speak the terms glibly, out of habit.
Sometimes we speak them with gravity, counting on you.
But sometimes we are brough up short to see,
yet again,
that you are not kidding: you are other than us.
you will not be mocked.
Lord, sovereign, governor, king:
In your will you sweep away what we treasure,
We watch...and you sweep away a range of our idolatries,
apartheid...but not yet racism,
military regimes...but not yet our superopwer,
heresies....but not yet our self-indulgence.
You, you who sweep away and purge,
Sweep yet the systems of disobedience all around us,
sweep yet the networks of self-securing we treasure,
sweep yet our own childhoods that trap us,
sweep yet our little loves that disable us,
sweep yet our little fears that rob us of you,
sweep yet and make new.
Do your Friday sweep yet again, and
suit us for your Sunday governance. Amen.
-Walter Brueggemann, Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth
Inadvertently or semi-consciously, though, I've been looking for the answer to this question to determine the nature of God - is He cruel and vindictive, and am I doomed to crushed dreams for the rest of my life? Clearly we know the answer is "no". But postmodern me can say "no" in my head and "but what I see is..." in my heart.
You see, I'm ridiculously postmodern, particularly about this one area of my life. I formulate my idea of God based on my experiences of Him. I treat my life like an inductive Bible study, reading between the lines and searching for meanings and chiasms and themes and a picture of God that I can apply to my life. This is so faulty, though. The Bible is God-breathed and true; my life as I perceive it is an interpretation. My version of my life and someone else's version of it would be very different. Trying to interpret my life, therefore, is double the interpretation, 2 degrees away from truth. It's not that God can't be met and known from His general revelation in our lives. But we can't base our image of Him on life alone.
Which brings us to the trite but true conclusion that to know God, we've gotta read the Bible. Why? Because it's the truth about who God is, untainted by our own perceptions. And no, it rarely lines up with our perceptions of who He is. I'm very good at reading a passage about God's goodness when I'm hurting and seeking comfort and instead of taking the solace He gives there, I go "yeah, but what about how I feel now?" So postmodern!
But whether I like it or not...how I perceive God doesn't change who He is. God is God. God is who He says in the Bible, whether I fully believe it or not. And there's a disjunction between what I see and who He is that is difficult to overcome. The best comparison in human terms is when you're away from someone for a long time and they change, be it a little or drastically, for better or for worse, and when you finally see them again you either can't see the new, better person they are or you miss who they were before they changed to be someone you don't like.
So I guess where that puts me is...really, what I'm feeling about what God's doing (or permitting, or not doing, or whatever the case may be) in my life doesn't change who He is. And despite the sharp contrast I've got to keep digging into the true Text and finding God there to check my self-generated image of Him.
You sweep away what we treasure
Our salute to you tumbles out:
Lord, sovereign, governor, king
political images of us before, gender specific,
marked by macho.
Sometimes we speak the terms glibly, out of habit.
Sometimes we speak them with gravity, counting on you.
But sometimes we are brough up short to see,
yet again,
that you are not kidding: you are other than us.
you will not be mocked.
Lord, sovereign, governor, king:
In your will you sweep away what we treasure,
We watch...and you sweep away a range of our idolatries,
apartheid...but not yet racism,
military regimes...but not yet our superopwer,
heresies....but not yet our self-indulgence.
You, you who sweep away and purge,
Sweep yet the systems of disobedience all around us,
sweep yet the networks of self-securing we treasure,
sweep yet our own childhoods that trap us,
sweep yet our little loves that disable us,
sweep yet our little fears that rob us of you,
sweep yet and make new.
Do your Friday sweep yet again, and
suit us for your Sunday governance. Amen.
-Walter Brueggemann, Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth
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